(no subject)

[swordboning]

Today, I'll have you staring at my back, looking on in despair. If you'd like, I'll let you even back down and run away, mired in your own thoughts.

[His hands deftly reaches into a tank of water and pulls out.....a shark.]

Hmph.

[Oh god, yes. It's that smirk.]

Losers can't take on the title of Iron Chef, in case you were actually thinking of winning.

[Because the best, non-lethal way to settle this is through a cooking contest....yes.]

Comments

[projections]

I'm not backing down, Archer. [Shirou intends to win today because he hates losing. More importantly, he can't lose to Archer in cooking.]

You're not that impressive in the kitchen. [He turns away from Archer while biting on his lip. Why does Archer think he's such a hot shot? That smirk only pisses Shirou off further.]

[swordboning]

That's a rather ironic statement coming from you. Don't think that because people enjoy your food, anything you can do will surpass my experience.

[Shirou, why.

Besides, git gud. He's already working on cutting this mofo up.]

[projections]

I'll definitely surpass you.

[Shirou's angrily frying some food together. He's trying so hard to be productive and there's this guy here being so smug. Archer's very presence is distracting as hell.]

Just watch! You can talk big now, Archer. Soon enough you'll be the one running away!

[swordboning]

If you weren't such an idiot, you could look at things objectively. I see that's beyond your capability, however little I estimated it to be.

[Ovens are superior ftm. SOON.]

The only way you'll ever see my back is if I have to save you again, as repulsive as it sounds.

[projections]

Why do you keep calling me an idiot? You idiot. [His heads starting to hurt from all this bantering. Someone help them.]

Don't carried away. You aren't going to save me again, idiot.

[swordboning]

Flailing around with that word isn't going to make you less of an idiot, idiot.

[Speaking of making Shirou look bad, Archer holds his hands out in front of him and projects two (2) knives!]

Watch closely and maybe you'll learn something.

[projections]

You're saying idiot more than me, idiot.

[Shirou's getting an idea from watching Archer. He can project knives too. As soon as he's done frying he shamelessly copies Archer's technique.]

How's that?

[swordboning]

[He didn't even need to say anything. Nope, just chop some fucking vegetables up like a PRO SERVANT. Except he was a pro servant. Just not that kind of servant.

All that with two knives.]

[projections]

Show off.

[Archer's gone quiet all of a sudden. That isn't a good sign either. Shirou frowns once and then boils some food. ]

Hey, Archer.

[What the hell are you even making?]

You aren't tossing together random ingredients, are you?

[swordboning]

Am I? Or perhaps I'm making a masterpiece.

[Actually, it is random shit but the point is to distract and confuse Shirou into copying him!]

[projections]

[NO! Shirou knows better than to fall for such a bad trick. Actually, watching Archer confuses him more so he just focuses on his own meal.]

Keep talking! What kind of recipe uses all of those ingredients together? You're going to be wasting food.

[swordboning]

What? In your time, they don't have casseroles?

[The ultimate combination of ingredients.]

[projections]

[Shirou looks at Archer suspiciously like he finally figured out what this guy is up to. Oh well. ]

That's all you're making after talking so big? [He's not going to worry because he's positive he's won.]

[swordboning]

Do you even know where casseroles originated, idiot? The look on your face says you don't understand at all.

[Oh no, time to learn about heroes. That said, he is literally blowing 50 minutes because he knows he can make epicness in 10.]

[projections]

Are you still going on calling me an idiot? You idiot.

It's not that I don't understand. Quite frankly, I think you're the one who's misunderstanding.

[Archer's being too relaxed. When he loses Shirou's going to rub it in that much more. On the other hand, losing to this guy would be insulting.]

[swordboning]

Maybe you should open a book sometimes. A casserole didn't start as a mix of ingredients mashed together but as a way of cooking. If you don't even know that, you can't even compete.

[projections]

Sorry to disappoint you but I'm already competing and my victory's sealed.

So, what's an Archer doing with all of this knowledge on cooking? You're the weird one here, not me.

ollies into here

[springful]

[with a food-related prompt still since i can't think of anything not food when it comes to fsn kids...

So Sakura's probably heard about the cook-off Shirou and Archer are going to have??? It's a contest between them two, but she still wants to help!! In this case, that means buying all the groceries they're going to need for the competition. How she plans to buy a shark is anyone's guess, but it's on her checklist regardless.]

Maybe I should get two? I don't know how many they'll need... Or maybe two different types of shark would be better? [THIS IS KIND OF A LONG LIST please save her from ten trips to the groceries.]

[swordboning]

[A hero who hates heroes saving anyone. Yeah, right.]

Why settle for two when you can have four? And if four is not enough, why not six?

[Make thirty trips. Okay, he would never actually let that happen.]

Really, you seem to be thinking about this too hard.

[springful]

[WOW ARCHER save your grumpy hero-hating attitude for someone else okok.]

Well, I want you two to be prepared for your contest. How many sharks do you think you'll need? [It's food can you really expect her to not think about this too hard??]

[swordboning]

You can start preparing by not thinking this is going to be some kind of equal challenge. The winner is already decided so putting too much thought into this is a waste.

[springful]

Whether or not it's an equal challenge, [because she's already sure Senpai will win sorry] it's only right that you both start off with the same opportunity for ingredients.

[swordboning]

I say give the idiot as much of an advantage as possible. He's going to need it.

[springful]

If you really think so, then I'm going to have to get even more ingredients. [10 sharks all for shirou this sounds like a great idea.]

[swordboning]

[Wow, first she wants a fair game and now she wants to be biased for senpai instead of super senpai? Rude.]

It's not like I'm paying so feel free to go all out.

[springful]

[he's the one insisting shirou should get a handicap anyways?? she's just listening to super senpai gosh!!! but she laughs lightly anyways.]

Alright. Then when Senpai wins, just remember that you were the one who said it was okay to give him an advantage.

[swordboning]

That one sided belief is a little sickening but not unexpected.

[Because he knows. He lived this life, after all!]

[springful]

[archer pls... but she just smiles knowingly. it's obvious she's predictable when it comes to shirou, and she's perfectly fine with that.]

Oh, I better get going now though. With how many ingredients you'll need, I'll have to make more than just one trip. [SO WHY IS SHE ACTUALLY PLANNING ON DOING THIS ALONE?!]