cadian | (no subject)

(no subject)

Today, I'll have you staring at my back, looking on in despair. If you'd like, I'll let you even back down and run away, mired in your own thoughts.

[His hands deftly reaches into a tank of water and pulls out.....a shark.]

Hmph.

[Oh god, yes. It's that smirk.]

Losers can't take on the title of Iron Chef, in case you were actually thinking of winning.

[Because the best, non-lethal way to settle this is through a cooking contest....yes.]

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I'll definitely surpass you.

[Shirou's angrily frying some food together. He's trying so hard to be productive and there's this guy here being so smug. Archer's very presence is distracting as hell.]

Just watch! You can talk big now, Archer. Soon enough you'll be the one running away!

If you weren't such an idiot, you could look at things objectively. I see that's beyond your capability, however little I estimated it to be.

[Ovens are superior ftm. SOON.]

The only way you'll ever see my back is if I have to save you again, as repulsive as it sounds.

Why do you keep calling me an idiot? You idiot. [His heads starting to hurt from all this bantering. Someone help them.]

Don't carried away. You aren't going to save me again, idiot.

Flailing around with that word isn't going to make you less of an idiot, idiot.

[Speaking of making Shirou look bad, Archer holds his hands out in front of him and projects two (2) knives!]

Watch closely and maybe you'll learn something.

You're saying idiot more than me, idiot.

[Shirou's getting an idea from watching Archer. He can project knives too. As soon as he's done frying he shamelessly copies Archer's technique.]

How's that?

[He didn't even need to say anything. Nope, just chop some fucking vegetables up like a PRO SERVANT. Except he was a pro servant. Just not that kind of servant.

All that with two knives.]

Show off.

[Archer's gone quiet all of a sudden. That isn't a good sign either. Shirou frowns once and then boils some food. ]

Hey, Archer.

[What the hell are you even making?]

You aren't tossing together random ingredients, are you?

Am I? Or perhaps I'm making a masterpiece.

[Actually, it is random shit but the point is to distract and confuse Shirou into copying him!]

[NO! Shirou knows better than to fall for such a bad trick. Actually, watching Archer confuses him more so he just focuses on his own meal.]

Keep talking! What kind of recipe uses all of those ingredients together? You're going to be wasting food.

What? In your time, they don't have casseroles?

[The ultimate combination of ingredients.]

[Shirou looks at Archer suspiciously like he finally figured out what this guy is up to. Oh well. ]

That's all you're making after talking so big? [He's not going to worry because he's positive he's won.]

Edited (omg i hate typos) 2014-11-29 09:56 (UTC)

Do you even know where casseroles originated, idiot? The look on your face says you don't understand at all.

[Oh no, time to learn about heroes. That said, he is literally blowing 50 minutes because he knows he can make epicness in 10.]

Are you still going on calling me an idiot? You idiot.

It's not that I don't understand. Quite frankly, I think you're the one who's misunderstanding.

[Archer's being too relaxed. When he loses Shirou's going to rub it in that much more. On the other hand, losing to this guy would be insulting.]

Maybe you should open a book sometimes. A casserole didn't start as a mix of ingredients mashed together but as a way of cooking. If you don't even know that, you can't even compete.

Sorry to disappoint you but I'm already competing and my victory's sealed.

So, what's an Archer doing with all of this knowledge on cooking? You're the weird one here, not me.

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